10.24.2006

Freud eat your heart out

I woke up from my nap today all hot and sweaty. Not from something sick (you pervs), but because of a bad dream.

I was dreaming that me and my brother were in my bedroom at night looking out my window out to the back patio. We hear a boom and see a huge rush of flames and realize that oh crap my dad has lit himself on fire. He doesn't even cry or flail around. He just stands there with huge blue flames engulfing his body. He looked like a giant Bunsen burner. And all I do is stand from my bedroom window and yell that any idiot should know to stop drop and roll when they get lit on fire. That's all I do while my brother is outside trying to put my dad's fire out with what looks like a mini water gun until he realizes there is a hose outside. I run inside to tell my mom what has happened and she says something that makes it seem like my dad set himself on fire on purpose. I am freaking out crying hysterically (still in a dream of course), and I am trying to call friends and people and no one cares. The fire truck and ambulance comes and there are so many people there for some reason however all they are worried about is putting out the flames in my backyard. This makes me cry harder because they don't care about my dad and the possibility that he could have tried to commit suicide. For some reason my dad's brother and his family are there and so are my dad's dad and step mom and they are all laughing and joking about it like it was funny and a joke. I am so disturbed by their reaction. That is not how you deal with a situation like this.

What wakes me up is the sound of footsteps in my room. I swear I heard footsteps in my room even though no one is supposed to be home today except me. But for some reason, probably because I am half asleep, I'm like yea whatever. But I can't fall asleep cuz my brain kicks in a goes if those were really footsteps, you aren't alone in the house and you should be. When I go to get out of bed I hear my front door slam. I go downstairs. There are no cars outside, no evidence of anyone coming inside, no bags, no backpacks from my brother (if he walked home early), nothing. So now I am freaked out. I think I am going nuts.

This really freaks me out though. Because not only do I dream that my dad has almost killed himself but I hear footsteps and the door slam to an invisible intruder. There must be a logical and rational explanation. All I know is Freud would be having a field day. Any of you budding dream analyzers wanna take a stab at my dream be my guest. This has been my second dream about my dad dying/almost dying in like two weeks.

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