10.23.2006

No sympathy

I have no sympathy for certain people. Today my lack of sympathy extends to drug addicts. Yes, I know they have problems and it is a medical condition. I am not denying this. I don't have sympathy for those who know they have a problem, have received help, and then revert back to their drug addled ways.

Reason 1: My uncle. Apparently he has had a problem with drugs his whole life. I cannot attest to this since he is in his 50s and I am only 19. I do know for a fact though that he did have a little incident with drug abuse when I was twelve and my grandmother who was living with us kept giving him money to "help" him. This makes me sad. She was a widow and had like no money and here my uncle is saying he is going to take the money and get better and what does he do? He buys drugs...nice one. I'm pretty sure he sold her engagement ring too for drugs....or her wedding ring, I'm not sure which one. I remember very clearly my mom screaming at my uncle telling him she never wanted him to come to my house again.

That didn't last because he did come to my house but not until he got sober. I'm sure he fell off the wagon some time between then and now but he has really gone off the deep end. So much so that now he is living on the streets. We tried to help, we got him arrested so that he would be forced to go into rehab. He went to two different rehabs. That didn't help. So now he is back on heroin and crack and whatever else he is on, he has no money, he is living in his truck, and he is apparently being chased by his drug dealers because he owes them money. I really don't have sympathy for him. He has been sober. He has resisted urges before. And now he can't all of a sudden? Sorry I know I probably can't understand because I'm not a drug addict myself. I have no sympathy for him because he is ruining his 10 year old daughter's life. He is ruining our whole families life because we are all afraid he is going to come over and ask for money or a place to stay while he is all cracked out (which is quite scary let me tell you). He already has stayed at my aunt's shed which has led to many family jokes of the "half way shed" instead of the halfway house, and the crack shed instead of the crack house. We are sick. But hey humour helps when you are hurting and scared.

Reason 2: My aunt, yes my family has problems. She too has battled drug addiction and alcoholism her entire life. Well she now is dying because her liver is failing. She looks terrible. She doesn't even make sense when she talks because of all the effects these drugs have had on her. And you know what? I kind of don't feel bad for her that this is what is happening. She has done this to herself. I think she feels the same way too.

Sorry if you think I am mean and insensitive. But when you have been surrounded by this your whole life (thankfully it wasn't my parents that had the drug problems) you come to be a little cold on the subject.

1 comment:

Chris said...

agreed

working with him sober was bad enough, i cant imagine him cracked lol